devils_solitude: (Default)
I never thought I'd be able to feel again, let alone write.

It's an... Indescribable feeling you can say, for the lack of a better word. And all thanks to a seemingly insignificant fanfiction by a stranger hidden in a corner of cyberspace.

Sounds crazy doesn't it? How is it that a mere fanfiction is able to elicit such a response from me; breaking the 2 years of dry writing spell (and around 1 year of 'unfeelingness') I was trapped in?

Before you shrug it off as me massively inflating the significance of this incident due to my innate rabid fangirl instincts for the fandom (which by the way, I'm not even *that* crazy over, yet), I suggest you read, or skim through it.

Looks like a typical fic? I'll let you continue reading it for another 10 or 15 minutes before you decide.

Besides the absolutely divine use of the English language, the other element of it - which probably helped me immensely in rediscovering the meaning of passion and emotions - is that of the setting. Instead of spinning this ludicrous world in which all the characters are variations of a fairy tale's Prince Charming, the fic was set in a world mirroring that of ours, with each character endearingly flawed. I guess that's why the imagery created was so real, so vivid.

While many are lured by the impossible exaggerations of fantasies, I find myself most captivated, and humbled by the beauty of normalcy. Your senses and imagination dulls over time with repeated, increasing doses of these perfect mythical worlds, wishing for a sinful release from the mundane. But in the end, it is only when you discover, or rediscover the hidden dimension of beauty in the ordinary can your heart finally be content. It was never about drowning yourself in the ideal, but learning to look at reality in a new light. 

That was basically the... Revelation? Epiphany? I had after reading it. 

I fell into a dreamless, yet happy, and perhaps relieved, sleep after reading all 5 parts just before the break of dawn. Only after 20 hours or so later am I able to gather my thoughts in a... Slightly more coherent train, enabling me to write this post. It's rare for me to sing praises for anyone, let alone an annoymous netizen whose path I'd never crossed before. I guess that just says how the story managed to strike a chord deep within me, the resulting notes resonating in my soul, releasing me from the mental prison I was trapped in.

Thank you for releasing the latent feelings in me. Thank you for letting me rediscover my long-lost love for the language. Thank you for motivating me to start, and continue writing again, even if I'll never be able to match the brilliance you have shown me.

Thank you, for showing me that the world is indeed worth living for.


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May 2017

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